Been there

I'm at a cafe here in residential/city Denver. Even though I haven't been here in awhile, the same familiar faces are here - you know, the regulars who come daily, don't seem to have to work and know each other by name. The older couple just exchanged some things they brought for another cafe regular, knowing she would be here.

I watched a fit, attractive young couple with their two kids eating breakfast. First off, that is something we never did once as a family growing up: go to a cafe for breakfast. Actually, we never went to a cafe. Ever. I'm pretty sure the first time I went to one was in college (apart from going to the cafe in Border's Books during high school because it was the only place open until 10 p.m. on Friday).

Anyway, the family was just enjoying a leisurely Saturday, talking in calm quiet voices. I liked that the parents didn't do baby talk and just talked to their daughter (3 years old?) and son (1 year?) like people. The girl finished eating and got excited about the play area. As soon as she stepped over there, though, she turned around and said to her dad, "I have to go to the bathroom. Oh. I just went." He didn't yell. He didn't get angry. As this poor little girl's lime green jeans slowly seeped to a darker color, her dad just calmly cleared their table and cleaned up as much as he could.

I was so impressed with the dad. I mean, we've all been there. No need to get mad when she obviously didn't mean to do it; and, really, she was the only one suffering in now wet jeans. Been there. But, the dad didn't get mad or make a big deal. They just calmly walked home to change clothes.

Rabbit Rabbit

Can't believe it's March. Of 2011. I'm halfway through the semester.... of my last semester of a J.D. and a M.A. degree. I'm resisting the urge to countdown.

Onward and upward. Life Marches on. (See what I did there? Like that?)

Running

I've been pretty good lately about restraining myself from telling you all the mundane, boring detail of my slow return to running. Until now. :)

I've been good about forced days off, stretching, and strengthening exercises. I'm trying hard not to get injured or have aches. I do get some aches in the arch still, so I have a feeling this will just have to something I'm very vigilant about, not just hop out the door and run.

I've been treating myself to trail runs. It's too cold to bike outside, and I need something to look forward to amidst the paper-writing.

I had a great long run this morning, albeit accidental. I hadn't run this trail for almost a year and I could have sworn the "shortcut" made it an hour... somehow I forgot about 5 whole extra miles. Gah! Whatever. What can you do but keep running? I tried to chill out. The last mile and a half or so were ugly, but The Hurricane came on my iShuffle, so that was pretty motivating. I'm already sore and stiff, but psyched! The best way to get back to normal mileage is just to do it (painfully, at first).

One last thing, I was chatting with a dude at law school who I always see at the gym. So, of course we started talking about what sports we do (he = soccer). He asked what sport I do and without thinking I said "I'm a runner." Super cheesy, but it felt really good to say that! I feel like I haven't been able to say that for so long. I also love that you can be a runner no matter how recreational, amateur, slow, or gawky you are. Really, I have just as much right to say I am a runner as Shalene or Kara. You don't have to be good, you just have to do it. So do it. And love it.

Keep calm and carry on...

One day at a time

Here we go - Wednesday, November 9. In my new-found age and wisdom, I've been feeling better. I think I just get so anxious and stressed out that I work myself into a tizzy and can't calm down. The work is still there. My Deadline List on my whitey-board at home is full. But, I have accomplished some (small though it may be) work since my last post. I wrote a personal narrative about being a female law student. I wrote a short memo about risk management for a mining investment in Venezuela.

A lovely friend from Boston has been in town for a conference (lucky me!). It's really amazing to feel this de-stressed just by having a good friend, with nice chats, easy company, and familiarity nearby. She's a quick one, though, and I probably ran too fast and too far for my getting-back-in-shape routine. How fun! We did a little city park loop. Unfortunately, I made her talk the whole time as I was desperately trying to keep up and catch my breath.

As the Momster says: Just take one day at a time.

Keep calm and carry on...

Fake fall

Just as there is no spring on Cape Cod, there is no fall here in Denver. The mornings are starting to get a bit chilly (low 50s?), but every afternoon is over 80 degrees. It's too hot, people. Mom said the leaves are changing back home. Here, I am still sweating just running errands around town. I am going out to western Colorado in a couple weeks to hang out there for a weekend, and I hope the leaves will be nice.

The weeks trudge on - is this week 5 of class? - and I am starting to feel that there is more work to be done. I also feel like I'm just biding my time here, waiting out the semester. I think I'm supposed to look forward to graduating, but it doesn't feel that way. Things are looming ahead: where do I take the bar? Passing the bar. Getting a job. Paying off loans. It's all very daunting.

Yesterday I got dim sum at a pretty good place with my friend, Viv. We picked up some groceries, too, from the Asian grocery store. I got a huuuge bag of brown rice (5 lbs?) for $4.50 and some curry paste for $1.99. So cheap. After, she also helped me buy and move a $24.99 used comfy chair from the fancy-shmancy Goodwill on Broadway. It's pretty great and it fits perfectly. I positioned it to look out the window so I can't wait for late fall or winter to have my cup of tea or morning oatmeal and watch the fountain out in the courtyard. She also confirmed that my place smells like gas, mildly. I haven't closed my window since I moved in.

Happy Monday, or something like that.

Summer wears on

It's 6:00 a.m. I'm heading to the gym in a minute.

The skies are grey, and it would be a perfect day for crawling back into bed and calling in sick. I've got my proposal, my baby, due today. There are phone calls to Peru to make. My iShuffle playlist awaits me, as I slowly wake up on the stationary bike. These are the summer days we would come out of Mr. Tyler's pool shivering and pretty much blue all over with purple lips. Mom would be waiting with arms open to wrap us in a towel. She'd feel so guilty throwing us into swimming lessons when we're that tiny and had so little body fat to keep us warm, we knew she'd make us hot chocolate on return. With marshmallows. We had it pretty good those days. Mid July is when you start to feel that summer, in fact, is not endless. But you rest assured that there are plenty of sunny days left ahead. More ice cream on Fridays at Smugglers or Captain Frosty's. More s'mores over the cooling barbecue coals. More sunsets at the bridge and shooting stars at midnight walks.

Summer wears on.

At this time of morning just a few weeks ago the sun would be up already. At night, it has started to get dark earlier. Hard to believe I've only three weeks left here in D.C. and just about four weeks until I'm back in Denver. I have this feeling that I'm leaving my real life here. The life that I love. The life that I went to Denver to be able to have. It's a nice affirmation that what I'm doing in graduate school will get me where I wanted (and want) to go. I just have to remember I'm not here yet. One more year. If I do land a job and get myself this real life for more than a summer, it'll all seem worthwhile. It's hard to imagine being in Denver, in school, taking exams, studying things like criminal procedure and evidence, for a whole other year. But, for now, I'll get myself to the gym, pump up my music, and move on with my grey summer day.

Summer wears on.

Bummer

Okay. Plantar Fasciitis-heel-spur-pain is still going on. I basically stopped running in February and have not recovered yet. What a bummer! I am feeling very out of sorts. Not my usual body. Clothes aren't fitting right, feeling new weight and oddly winded going up stairs and the like. I kept up a pretty good workout scheme in Colorado with my road bike and the gym, but the last few weeks with travel and no bike have been bad. I think I just need to give up on running and work harder at keeping in shape by bike, walking, and maybe swim? I joined the JCC. I walk a mile to and from work. I am borrowing a road bike in a couple weeks. I really, really, really, just want to get better so I can step out the door and go running. Sad that I have so much work to do to get back in shape. Probably no marathon this year, either.

Give me advice!

A taste of freedom

I was at a playground last night and had a moment of freedom - the swings! There is something truly liberating about swinging. Swings seem so simple with just two chains and a piece of rubber. Of course they are wonderful for kids, but I really think they're even better for adults. When else do adults get to feel weightless fluidity? There I was, pumping my legs, feeling the winter air run through my fleece coat, and falling into an unconscious rhythm. It was so relaxing and energizing, a moment of mesmerizing trance in the smooth movement. I felt like a pendulum tracing the lunar shape of a moon cookie. I also felt like I was back at BWB. I know that part of the allure of swings is probably connected to nostalgic days of elementary school because those were good days. (Note: I don't say, 'Those were the good days,' because I really believe every day has potential to be a good day. Many days since childhood and my days today are equally, yet differently, good days. I can't stand to believe that the best days are behind me.) But, really, the swings were good for the soul. Go find some swings. Go at night, if you want to be stealth - or, if you want the experience to be all yours.

In the wise words of my brother: They can steal my GPA but they can't steal my freedom.

Officially a 3L!

Wowzers - it's over and I'm a 3L now! I'm back at the grad school for Winter/Spring quarters, so I won't be back at law school until next Fall, 2010. Seems weird even just writing that. I'm thrilled. And relieved. And tired. So tired.

What'd I do today? De-iced my freezer (old-school, kind. Took forever, awfully annoying). Cleaned my apartment. Packed my bag for home. Printed out exam, handed it in. Bought used books at the bookstore for next semester. Bought books off half.com and amazon for next semester. Target stop for some essentials, like hand lotion so my dry hands don't fall off. Some quick stops looking for my new quest -- used cross country skis! Didn't find any but that's fine. Ate lunch, got some coffee and outlined my presentation. Then, wow, long 3 1/2 hrs of my/peer presentations. Finally got celebratory sushi dinner with hot saki and mochi for dessert. Yum!

Just can't believe it's over.

Update

One test down. Doesn't feel good, but I have to move on to the next. There's nothing I can do about it now, anyway.

Walked home after. It's 14.8 degrees outside and slight flurries. I actually was warm because I walked fast and wore this:

tights
alpaca socks
jeans
tee shirt
sweater
fleece coat
fat puff coat (down)
waterproof tall boots
gloves
hat

I listened to my favorite radio show, The World, which is on at 4 p.m. ET, 2 p.m. MT (so I never get to listen to it normally). And, it only takes 10 minutes more to walk from school (55 min total) than it does to take the bus from school (45 min total).

On to the next final...

Case of the Mondays

It's 14 degrees outside. The roads are a thick sheet of ice. My car won't start. The bus comes twice an hour, and involves a mile+ walk, anyway. Sigh. Welcome to my Monday.

Things got better, and I trust the car will start when it gets warmer out. But, REALLY!? It just makes me look forward to leaving on Friday, a mere 3 days away! And, I get to spend a whole evening with Gracie-poo! She, kindly, is driving me to the airport Friday morning at 5 a.m.-ish. Goodness, when was the last time I was invited to a sleepover?? :)

Lots of work to get done before Friday, though. 1 down, 3 to go.

On another note, I heard this cool story on the radio today about a kid in Malawi who just decided to make a windmill. He read about it in 2 books at the public library, after he couldn't afford to pay the US $80 to go to public school. Except, really, he didn't even read it because it was in English and he didn't know English. So, he learned about how to make a windmill from looking at pictures in 2 books at the public library after dropping out of school. And DID he make a windmill! From gum trees, old bicycle parts and trash around the town, he made a 39 foot windmill that converts wind into energy. It provides electricity for radios, cell phone charges, and 2 light-bulbs. He's since built 2 other windmills that work even when it's not windy. He's now 22 years old. Amazing. This story makes me feel pretty much the same as when I see 14 year old Olympic medalist figure skaters on T.V. -- I'm already too old for genius, raw talent and wonder!

Trust in the Taper

Ah! This is the point where I start to freak out.

I know, know, this happens to others, but why is it that when you taper, everything seems to fall apart? For you non-freakish runners, tapering is the last phase of training before a race. The idea is that you cut back on running to let your body rest up and be its freshest for the race. While you decrease how much you run, you're supposed to keep up how hard you run. For a marathon, it's typical to have a 3 week taper. After your hardest week, you have 3 increasingly easier weeks leading to the race. This really plays with your psychological confidence. You feel slow and sluggish, like you're getting out of shape. You feel like you're just an eating machine, but without the exercise to burn it off. The last week, especially, you feel like, "Gosh, this whole week I haven't even run as much as I will have to run at one time."

More than that, I really think once you start cutting back on the intense training, your body says Oh, okay, I can finally let myself fall apart. Little aches come up: my knee gets a pop when getting out of the car. My hips start cracking when I step out of bed in the morning. My heel tightens up and a little plantar fasciitis sneaks in. A little sniffle and morning cough starts showing up. What!? I've trained hard for 4 months for a cold or an ache to make me have a bad race? Am I going to make it to race day? Will I make it through the race?

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is all normal. My body is let itself "let loose" and break down a little before pulling it together for a strong, healthy race day. I'm giving myself rest after all those runs: the hot summer runs on unshaded Highline canal. The crappy races at altitude, after which I decided it was finally time to do track workouts. Those painfully slow first track workouts on the dirt track at South High. Those runs on Monday night at 6 p.m. after my 12 hour school day, in the dark, by myself. That 12 miler during that 2 foot snow storm in October. The 18, 20, 22 milers alone, because my friends were already tapering for their marathon. Staying faithful to the "No Halloween candy" rule. So, here I am. Following my plan. Running less. Sleeping a ton (um, Hi, 9 1/2 hours a night!?). Eating more than I need. I have a new mantra for this phase of the training:

Trust in the taper.