One day at a time

Here we go - Wednesday, November 9. In my new-found age and wisdom, I've been feeling better. I think I just get so anxious and stressed out that I work myself into a tizzy and can't calm down. The work is still there. My Deadline List on my whitey-board at home is full. But, I have accomplished some (small though it may be) work since my last post. I wrote a personal narrative about being a female law student. I wrote a short memo about risk management for a mining investment in Venezuela.

A lovely friend from Boston has been in town for a conference (lucky me!). It's really amazing to feel this de-stressed just by having a good friend, with nice chats, easy company, and familiarity nearby. She's a quick one, though, and I probably ran too fast and too far for my getting-back-in-shape routine. How fun! We did a little city park loop. Unfortunately, I made her talk the whole time as I was desperately trying to keep up and catch my breath.

As the Momster says: Just take one day at a time.

Keep calm and carry on...

The baby formerly known as smudge

Okay, last post was depressing, but such is my life these days. And it's my bloggie, so I'm allowed to write how I feel. I do feel better after getting that out...

but

...on a happier note, I just was lucky enough to spend a few minutes with my friend's baby, who I shall call The Baby Formerly Known As Smudge. I love this little baby so so much! I'm not related by blood, so you have to believe me when I say this little baby is the mostest cutest bestest good mannered-est lovable-est baby in the world. It's true. He is. We hugged, we laughed, we hiccuped (okay, just TBFKAS, not me). We realized the world is not such a bad place after all.

Trudging through

Rough week at law school this week.

While I really do appreciate the support, it seems like when people want to help they just tell me things like It will be okay, You only have a few months left, You only have a few weeks left of this semester, You've done it before so you'll do it again. But maybe I won't be able to get through it this time. And even if I get through it, "a few" weeks and months is a lot to me -- especially when they are this miserable. It's a crappy few weeks/months with too much work, not enough sleep, feeling miserable, perpetual anxiety. I just want to go home -- real home, to Cape Cod -- and sleep for a month straight without eating, working out or seeing anyone. Literally, when this is all over, I want to not wake up for a month.

I don't want to feel stressed out all the time. I don't want to feel high strung and jumpy. I want to be spontaneous. I don't want just one "fun" thing of the day, especially when that one "fun" this is going on the training bike at the gym at 5:45 a.m. I want to spend a long time at the grocery store and cook dinner. I don't want "sleeping late" to mean sleeping until 5:30 a.m. I want to be more laid back and easy going. I want to read novels and do the crossword puzzle. I want to listen to This American Life and Radio Lab. I want to go to pick-up frisbee games until dark, or whenever I feel like leaving. I don't want to burst into tears for no reason other than the stress of it all. I want back the confidence in myself that I used to have.

When will it end?

The buzz

Check out this really cool website: http://www.buzzchurn.com/

Someone I know in the PhD program at the grad school made it. It checks all the English language newspapers around the world for "state fragility" -- in real time. How cool is that!?

In other news, I signed up for course next semester. My LAST semester. Unbelievable.

Denver Journal of Int'l Law & Policy (2)
International Business Transactions (3)
Evidence (4)
Community Economic Development (3)
Conflict of Laws (3)

I likely will end up dropping one of those classes (Community Economic Development?), but -- unfortunately -- Evidence is required. Silly Lawyer classes. Int'l Business Transactions will be taught by a guy who does Int'l Development and Law stuff. Should be good!

I also will be a Research Assistant for a professor at the grad school. We're going to work on collecting and coding bilateral trade agreements, looking for clustering between OECD countries.

Vote

Go vote! It's not too late. We need you! Do your civic duty.

Vote.