Hogar, dulce, hogar

Back in Boston! Yay! It feels good to be home. :) I got hugged and dropped off at the Bolt bus by wombmate #3 ... and picked up and hugged at South Station by wombmate #2. Lucky me!

Boston is beautiful, as always. Nothing -- nothing -- beats a night run in winter across the Mass. Ave. bridge, the skyline fading behind the snow falling around me. Exhilarating!

Tomorrow we head to the art museum with the 'rents. So excited! It's such a lovely museum, compared to a certain, shall we say, diorama-esque art museum back in Denver.

the city

Been in the city a couple days, visiting Dr. Baby Brother. I feel like I should have been taking advantage of the city, but I haven't felt like doing much. I have fond memories of winter and Christmas time in the city. It seems a world away, now.

I feel a little sickie after all semester and the kiddos down in Philly. I've gone for runs around Central Park. I read a book last night. I took a nap. I cooked a lot for the skinny brother (three kinds of cookies, lasagna, veggies, salads, breakfasts, etc.). It's kind of nice to have anonymity and nothingness. Wish I could have seen more of the brother, the city, and other friends. I am seeing a friend tomorrow morning, so that will be lovely, before heading up (finally) to Boston.

Happy Winter Solstice!

Au milieu de l'hiver, j'ai découvert en moi un invincible été.

Philly

Back in Philly. It really feels like I just posted that I was in town for my friend's wedding, but that was way back in May! I've had a summer and a fall since then. I just love this city. It has charm, grit, a feeling of excitement, motion, and adventure. Sadly, I noticed the light balls in Rittenhouse Sq. are not up! I'll have to investigate.

When I got off the bus, I knew right where I was and just started walking through the city West to get to campus. Despite the 23 degree weather and carrying my bag, I wanted to walk. I wanted to save money, but mainly I wanted to walk because I would be passing through the city. It feels great to land in almost any city along the east coast and know my way around. Something about the independence of travel, just me and my small bag (I'm notorious for packing light) - it enlivens me. I feel empowered and connected to the world - connecting both to places and to people.

Off to the more adventures in this next stop I'm making on the long way home...

Visit to Grandma

We visited Grandma today! She's such a cutie. We made lunch. She tells outrageous stories that I can't repeat in this forum. We read through the cards my grandparents received when my mom was born. We hung up her clothes, discussed the details of the humidifier and cleaning the curtains. We had tea and snack. We prepared her dinner to be waiting for her when she woke up from her nap. I organized, alphabetized and filed her old prescriptions (see above photo). She told me I looked like a gypsy, which I considered a compliment. I was thoroughly exhausted after our day!

Be more

I've returned east, to grey skies, humidity, and fast walkers. Had a lovely weekend in Baltimore with a friend - dinner, drinks, movie, runs, paper-writing. I'm closing in on the paper ("edits" and blueblook citations left). Right now I'm in Penn Sta. waiting for the train, which is of course late. Looking forward to time with Grandma and my sister and her husband. I'm inches away from true vacation...

Last day in Denver for awhile

My eyeballs still hurt.

There was a wee hiccup in finishing my paper. I'm here, plugging away, but immensely excited for the east coast!

You can take the girl out of the east coast, but you can't take the east coast out of this girl...

Back to variable geometry. Wait, I thought I one of there was no math in law school?

Update

I'm so darn close. I've got about 10 pages left (plus massive editing, citations, and feeling badly for probably not making a good argument...I want to write a fabulous paper, but I'm just losing steam. Quickly. I hate to say it, but I kind of just want to have enough pages of something to turn in and go to sleep for a few days straight. Sleep's for losers?).

Sigh.

My eyeballs hurt and I've resorted to Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas.

preferential trade agreements

I think things are finally coming together on this last paper, after much agonizing and sleepless nights. Really, this has by far been the hardest intellectual challenge.

The breakthrough thought? I realized what I am arguing is not that preferential trade agreements are asymmetrical. Everyone knows that and it's actually a good thing they are (sort of an affirmative action for developing nations). What I really am arguing is that there is also asymmetry in the promulgation of preferential trade agreements. This Asymmetric Promulgation is what's dangerous and bad. It means countries enter into trade agreements that aren't good for them economically (the agreements don't address issues important to developing countries and the agreements are likely to be signed under political pressure or for non-trade reasons).

Dorkiest post ever. I'll stop now before I tell you about how pretty my tabs are.

New Songs

I have this terrible vice of buying new music to entertain and bribe myself through finals. Every year around finals time, I get bored with my music and start buying new music I've heard on Pandora. Bad Carrie, bad. Ah, well, what's done is done. Some newbies in my ears:

Seaside, The Kooks


Son of Sam, Elliott Smith


Somebody that I Used to Know, Elliot Smith


Sultanas de Merkaillo, Ojos de Brujo

Running

I've been pretty good lately about restraining myself from telling you all the mundane, boring detail of my slow return to running. Until now. :)

I've been good about forced days off, stretching, and strengthening exercises. I'm trying hard not to get injured or have aches. I do get some aches in the arch still, so I have a feeling this will just have to something I'm very vigilant about, not just hop out the door and run.

I've been treating myself to trail runs. It's too cold to bike outside, and I need something to look forward to amidst the paper-writing.

I had a great long run this morning, albeit accidental. I hadn't run this trail for almost a year and I could have sworn the "shortcut" made it an hour... somehow I forgot about 5 whole extra miles. Gah! Whatever. What can you do but keep running? I tried to chill out. The last mile and a half or so were ugly, but The Hurricane came on my iShuffle, so that was pretty motivating. I'm already sore and stiff, but psyched! The best way to get back to normal mileage is just to do it (painfully, at first).

One last thing, I was chatting with a dude at law school who I always see at the gym. So, of course we started talking about what sports we do (he = soccer). He asked what sport I do and without thinking I said "I'm a runner." Super cheesy, but it felt really good to say that! I feel like I haven't been able to say that for so long. I also love that you can be a runner no matter how recreational, amateur, slow, or gawky you are. Really, I have just as much right to say I am a runner as Shalene or Kara. You don't have to be good, you just have to do it. So do it. And love it.

Keep calm and carry on...

Star Kitchen

Star Kitchen,

You let me down. Big time. I know we've had at least one good meal together - you remember? That time I came for Dim Sum on a Sunday afternoon? It was decent. I thought we were friends.

But then today, your Chow Fun with vegetables was just all wrong! First it's a box of noodles and a container of the goodies. What!? Why aren't they mixed? Then, the sauce is so-so, and - let's be honest - the noodles were not wide rice noodles. They were pretty much just regular old skinny noodles.

Once again confirmed that there is no good Chinese food here in Denver.

Thanks a lot, Star Kitchen.

New Round-up

Falling... off... the bandwagon... must post immediately!

Seems like the media has been going nuts lately: elections, leaks, holidays, Koreans. I would spend my time reading news reports from all perspectives if I had the time (and internet at home)! My 2 cents --

Elections:
Perhaps not so wise for Egypt to refuse international observers. 80 million people. Tourism the main industry. $1.56 billion in aid each year (from the U.S. alone!). Candidates put in the hospital. Citizens shooting each other. Ran out of ballots.

Haiti's elections? Pretty much a failure before they even took place.

N. Korea bombing S. Korea - showing the new underling how it's done? Exercising a little military might to shake things up a bit? Get a little attention, maybe.

Wiki leaks. I think it's super interesting to compare the British version of the story with the American story. British wouldn't shush up about it. They thought we Americans were conniving for spying on the U.N. They thought the world should know that Saudi Arabia is pressuring the U.S. to attack Iran. Americans, on the other hand, played it down. A lot. Morning news rolled around to the story 20 minutes into the hour. There were maaaaybe a few impolitic things released. No big deal. Some smallish middle eastern countries put a teeny bit of pressure on western countries, perhaps hinting or suggesting the U.S., to maybe stand up to Iran. Right.

I think most of the Wiki leaks, while not wrong were probably released with a tad of malicious revenge in mind. Like a bratty tattle tale who you want to think is annoying, but you have to admit is actually telling the truth. But, there are things in there (of course, it's a quarter of a million correspondences!) that really should be released to the public. I guess, generally, I think Wiki leaks provides a public service, even if they could have a bit more discretion about what's really important for the public to know, not just deliciously entertaining political gossip. The U.S. will play dumb about it for awhile. Countries the already don't like the U.S. will grumble. But structuralists win the day and all will blow over.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!*

I love remember this day from when we were kids. After a half day at school, we'd sprint home from the bus stop (cracking ice, if there was any) and race into the house. Dad would be home already, which was unusual because he was never home during the weekday. Mom would be yelling at us to get out of her kitchen and stop picking at the stuffing. She made it seem like she was annoyed, but we all know she loved it. The house would already be warm, busy, smelling like cooking. Grandma and Grandpa would be visiting up from the south (you know, that area below the Mason-Dixon line). A fire would be going and everyone would be totally off the walls just from the idea of Thanksgiving.

As we got older, it meant that Andy or Ellen would be home from college, which was always exciting. We would rush out to the driveway when they pulled up and feel grateful to drag their dirty laundry into the house (or, in Andy's case, it was more like picking up a sock from the front seat, a tee-shirt from the trunk). They seemed older each time. I guess they probably thought the same about the three of us.

There would be talk of strategy: do you eat a lot the day before to stretch the stomach, or do you starve yourself to be really good and ready to stuff your face the next day. It was a tough decision. I'm a starve-yourself-the-day before kind of girl, myself. Well, not really. In theory I am, but - let's be honest - I can't really ever go more than a few hours without eating. Realistically, I would just have a small breakfast the morning of Thanksgiving.

One year, we secretly planned for Diana to come home and surprise mom. I will never, ever forget the look on mom's face. She was so surprised and happy that she started crying. Sneaky us! I loved coming home from college - the air smells so good on the Cape, and the stars are so bright. Nothing is like that first step out of the car, home for Thanksgiving, during freshman year of college. Later, it was always just a few days after the Philly marathon. The whole week seemed like a treat: the marathon, the post-marathon laziness, the eating, the family. My first Thanksgiving away from home was in Peru. I made stuffing from scratch and we had all of our Peruvian friends over after work that day. And our British friend. First year of law school I didn't go home and was invited to an east coast transplant/orphan Thanksgiving dinner. Last year was in D.C. (and Mom did a Second Thanksgiving at home a few weeks after that!). This year, Denver.

Wherever you are, be thankful.

*This message is one day early because I probably won't have internet tomorrow.

Living the Dream

Today has been such a good day, so far!

Went for a run around City Park. I'm not fast, but I feel less out of breath and am slowly inching to longer runs. Given that my first run was a 10 min jog 4 weeks ago, I'm psyched!

I studied at a cafe for a bit then got to take some friends (and the baby formerly known as smudge!) to the airport. I love playing with that little baby! He laughs when I come in the room and then proceeds to pull out my curls. I stop him before he puts my hair in his mouth, though. A-dorable!

I forgot to mention: I am done with 2 of my classes! I just have 2 little papers, left. Hard to believe.

Okay, are you ready for the indulgence? I bought a book today. A novel! Wait, maybe I should say, "The Federal Loan Division of the U.S. Government bought a book today." (Oooh, bookstores are so dangerous. You can dress me up but you can't take me anywhere! Now I remember why I don't let myself go into any bookstore ... except occassionally to Goodwill's back section with 10 cent used books.) I just ... it was ... I just love books! And, this is embarrassing, I bought it because of its cover (G'ah! I totally judged a book by its cover. ) It was minimalist, outdoorsy and winter-looking. Small. Written by someone from Massachusetts. Had a shiny little "Pulitzer Prize Winner" sticker. I couldn't resist. Behold the little gem:


As I had heard nothing of it before buying it on a whim, I checked out the review. I'm saving it as my snuggle-up-with-a-good-book on Thanksgiving.


P.S. Even the Indonesian government remembered the Jews, unlike Colorado, apparently.

Rookie Mistake

Do not forget about the second day soreness.

Ouch.

****

What do you think about this: The Colorado state government buildings have massive nutcrackers and Jesus scenes literally on the buildings. Not just a string of lights. Not just a Christmas tree. Not a tree and a menorah. No inkling of blue or white, dreidel or anything. If there were some Hannukah stuff on there, I'd still find the Jesus stuff a little over the top, but acceptable given the equal representation. But, as it is, I find the Jesus scenes to be distasteful, offensive, exclusive, and a violation of the separation of church and state.

Mustang Trail

I had such a great trail run yesterday! I wish I could show everyone just how beautiful this park is. I won't lie: the beginning is about 45 straight up. It's brutal, but so worth it! After about 20 minutes, you stop seeing other people (mainly mountain bikers). I was unprepared for such a long, hard trail, but it was just so pretty and I really wanted to try it, so I just did it. There was snow and ice in some parts. Pretty leaves in others. Lots of mountains! And, there was a beautiful sunset. Wait, sunset!? Oops. Poor timing on my part. It's a bad sign when you're still at least a half hour from the trail head, the sun is setting, and you're already exhausted! I swear, I heard animals come out and my heart started pounding as I sprinted down the mountain. Nothing like taking an unknown trail, by yourself, as the sun is setting to make you run further and fast than you've run in months. It all worked out in the end! :)

It was pretty much pitch dark when I got back to the car, and the temperature must have dropped something like 20-25 degrees during the run. I was freezing! I had to change my clothes - all of them - right there in the parking lot because I was going to freeze to death on the drive home, otherwise.... doo bee doo be dooo ... nothing to see here (which, let's be honest, there isn't much to see).

I did some serious stretching and took a long walk last night. I was tired of being on my feet, but I think it worked because I'm not even [that] sore today!

Success.

Good morning

I have vivid memories of my grandparents during their annual summer visits. Even then, they had already slowed with age and awoke well after we did. We tried to read quickly through the important parts of the newspaper (the front page, the Ask Ann Landers column, the photos in the sports section, and the comics) before the adults used their seniority to take it from us or to spread their business section over our precious Calvin and Hobbes.

Those days back then were before I learned to respect my grandparents. The low-sodium ketchup they put on vegetables disgusted me. The little-old-lady perfume wafting in the hallways and lingering in the powder room was suffocating, not familiar and endearing, as it now is. The impromptu history quizzes (You don't know what happened on December 7, 1941? How could you not know!? What kind of school are you at, anyway? Um, elementary school?) induced squirms. The much-dreaded check on our progress in playing musical instruments induced tears.

One morning, Grandpa and Grandma, wrapped in robes, shuffled down the long hallway from the guest room to the kitchen and living room. Grandpa was not a morning person and, combined with his general venerable scariness, I tried to make myself invisible. Good morning, he barked. Silence. Hi Grandpa, I replied. Hi!? What kind of greeting is that? You don't say Hi. You say Good Morning. Grandma jumped in to assuage the reprimand. Oh, Carrie, sweetheart, Good Morning is just a nicer way to greet someone. *Gulp* Got it. Lesson learned. Say Good Morning.

This memory popped into my head this morning, over twenty years later, as I walked into school with a classmate. Good Morning, I said. How did this classmate respond? What up. *Raised Eyebrow* What up? Who says that? Even my 5 year old Hi is a more pleasant slang greeting than the rude "What up." Does this guy still say that to his grandparents? While I never disagreed with my Grandparents, I think I finally appreciate just how lovely it is to hear Good Morning.


Say simply, very simply, with hope -- Good Morning.
Maya Angelou

Lounging hard

After a book review, a paper, and 2 presentations, I took today OFF. It was glorious. Slept late, went to breakfast at my favorite spot, read part of a novel my parents gave me, wrote letters, caught up on cleaning, dishes, and laundry. Went for a 2 1/2 hour ride with la Gracie. Oh my gosh, we were so cold! There was ice and snow in parts! I'm just not ready to put Italo away for the winter...

The Epitome Of My Day:

I was bumming around checking my e-mail at school before class tonight and my friend Tony walked up and says, "You look like you're lounging hard."

Snowy Monday

This weekend was great - had dinner at a professor's house on Friday night. Saturday I worked on my book review all day until I went to the Tiesto concert at night. So fun! I love love love Tiesto. The concert wasn't sold out or anything, but there were a ton of people there. For some reason, a bunch of girls befriended me (a girl, alone at a concert). Nice people, I felt like I had to have my guard up a little, though, what with the dark/crowded/drugs. But generally, I felt really relaxed and "ser" happy during the concert. That music really puts me in a weird trance (I swear, no drugs!). I can only compare it to cruising in "the zone" I get somewhere around mile 24 in the marathon. Pretty great concert!

Sunday I got up early, finished my book review, worked out, and then spent the rest of the afternoon working on a project for mining. I'm going to present tomorrow on Foreign Investment Climate/Risks in Colombia. It's super interesting, but I have much to do! I also have another presentation on CAFTA and the current trade dispute between Central American countries and the Dominican Republic. They're fighting over these nylon bags and plastic cord of string -- I'm going to argue there are deeper non-trade political reasons behind the dispute.

OH! And, Aung San Suu Kyi was released from house arrest. A good day for Burma!

It's snowing this morning - I love it!

An e-mail to save and read on rainy days...

Subject: RMMLF event last week From: Smith, Don Sent: Saturday, November 13, 2010 11:27 AM To: Golden, Carrie Attachments:

Hi Carrie. I'm in the process of writing a blog post about the RMMLF event last week at the law school. Would you mind if I mentioned in the posting that you organized the event in conjunction with the Foundation? It was a really impressive event -- I wish we would have made arrangements to video tape it, but maybe next time. Best wishes, --Don Smith Don C. Smith Director, Environmental and Natural Resources Law & Policy Graduate Program University of Denver Sturm College of Law +1 303 871 6052 dcsmith@law.du.edu http://enrlgp.blogspot.com (blog) http://www.law.du/index.php/enrgp (website)

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat Shalom!

I love how in Judaism Friday night is the beginning of the holy day each week - for me, it always truly is a day to celebrate! Speaking of Jews, check this out.

I'm totally beat this week. It took me 2 hours to putz around and get ready/make it into school this morning. Now that I'm here, I can't pull myself together to get real work done. Serious case of mushy brain syndrome. I think I'm going to roll with it -- do some easy work, print some stuff off to read later, and get out of here to take the afternoon off. I feel a wee bit guilty, but if I'm going to be uselessly inefficient, I might as well just rejuvenate myself and have good work days tomorrow and Sunday. All in all, I'd rather not fall apart in life, if it means I have to do less in well in law school. If taking an afternoon off is what I need to do to be happy, that seems worth it.

Dinner tonight at a prof's house. Very exciting! I feel like this sort of thing happened all the time in undergrad, but not in law school. I made mini cheesecakes - photo and recipe to follow!

A song to get you excited for the weekend.

Personal Growth

I grew a little yesterday. Don't be confused -- I haven't actually gotten taller since about 7th grade. And, these days, any growth I have is probably Out, not Up. But the growth yesterday was In.

I am in Int'l Mining Law & Policy and Int'l Petroleum Law & Policy classes. Back in August, I decided to take these classes for several reasons. First, minerals, oil, and gas seem to motor (pun intended!) much of Latin American economy, so I figured I should know a thing or two about it. Secondly, Know Thy Enemy. A vaguely informed liberal, I assumed I would be the anti-mining, anti-oil & gas person of the class. We've all heard of the Newmont incidents in Peru, exploitation, digging away mountains, black diamonds, slave and child labor, digging for "black gold," and spending and making big profit. Need I say more? Finally, DU law has one of the best Environmental and Natural Resources programs in the country so I wanted to take advantage of that before I left the Rockies.

But, surprise surprise, the semester rolls on and I find myself respecting the mining industry more and more. (Unfortunately, my views of the petroleum industry still hold steady.) I look forward to my Tuesday evening Mining class and I patently dread Wednesday evenings' Petroleum class. I had assumed the fields would be virtually the same, but they aren't. How curious! I decided to organize a comparative lunch discussion event to think about this a bit more. I enlisted my professors, who graciously indulged me and took time from their busy work days. I scrounged around for some money and -- low and behold -- received a small scholarship grant from the Rocky Mountain Mineral Law Foundation to cover lunch.

And, so, yesterday was the day! Essentially, I was the MC and moderator of this two-person panel discussion. I asked questions. They answered. People listened. I think it went great! About 50-60 people showed up to hear this comparative discussion. We ran out of food (!!), which probably means I didn't plan well, but also is exciting that that many people were there. My professors were great, engaged with each other well and really drew out the differences between the two fields. It was super interesting and think people learned a lot. We had people from all different countries (American, Chilean, Peruvian, Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Nigerian, etc), Denver Law and Colorado School of Mines, students and professors. I was especially happy to see professors there because professors never come to anything.

After, people were thanking me for organizing, asking "Which organization are you with" (the Independent Carrie Wants to Learn Fund?), how did I think of the questions and format, when was my next event, etc. I was approached by the Director of Development for the law school and the Director of the Environmental & Natural Resources Law and Policy Graduate Program. After it ended, people stuck around and chatted. As my dad said, "Sounds like you brought people together."All in all, it was exciting!

I'm proud of myself for two reasons. First off, I wanted to learn something and the opportunity to learn it didn't already exist. So I made it happen! And, along the way, I thought I'd share the learning experience with others. It's a truly invigorating and confidence-boosting thing to feel like you can make your ideas really happen. Secondly, I have been trying to put myself in mildly uncomfortable situations (e.g. speaking in front of 60 people who are mainly older men with prestigious roles as lawyers, engineers, and professors). I think it's good for me because I'm forcing myself to grow as a person. I hope I didn't sound too nervous, young, or scared. But, hell, even if I did - who cares? The more times I do stuff like this, the better I will get.

Onward and upward (or, in this case inward!).

Autumn fades into winter

The puff coat has come out!

It's been below freezing and we had our first hail-snow yesterday. The first frost was on my car this morning and I had to pull out the scraper. Que loco! I do love fall, and there are still hints of leaves changing, but it looks like winter is coming. It's shocking how after even just the first flurries or overnight frost, fall somehow fades away. The trees look sparse, the leaves are no longer vibrant colors. No more frozen yogurt stops on the way home from school. Now I just want a cup of hot tea with a splash of milk.

I'm excited for scarves, mittens, and hats. I can't wait for anonymous runs in the crisp, dark night and that feeling of fresh legs during a brisk winter run. Then, with rosy cheeks, I get to make (and eat!) thick, creamy soups like pumpkin or butternut squash.

Ooo, and it's almost time for those festive balls of light in Rittenhouse Square (Philly) -- that, to me, is the epitome of winter. I even get to see them this year when I'm back east in December!


It's true my favorite season is ending, but my second favorite seasons is arriving!

One day at a time

Here we go - Wednesday, November 9. In my new-found age and wisdom, I've been feeling better. I think I just get so anxious and stressed out that I work myself into a tizzy and can't calm down. The work is still there. My Deadline List on my whitey-board at home is full. But, I have accomplished some (small though it may be) work since my last post. I wrote a personal narrative about being a female law student. I wrote a short memo about risk management for a mining investment in Venezuela.

A lovely friend from Boston has been in town for a conference (lucky me!). It's really amazing to feel this de-stressed just by having a good friend, with nice chats, easy company, and familiarity nearby. She's a quick one, though, and I probably ran too fast and too far for my getting-back-in-shape routine. How fun! We did a little city park loop. Unfortunately, I made her talk the whole time as I was desperately trying to keep up and catch my breath.

As the Momster says: Just take one day at a time.

Keep calm and carry on...

The baby formerly known as smudge

Okay, last post was depressing, but such is my life these days. And it's my bloggie, so I'm allowed to write how I feel. I do feel better after getting that out...

but

...on a happier note, I just was lucky enough to spend a few minutes with my friend's baby, who I shall call The Baby Formerly Known As Smudge. I love this little baby so so much! I'm not related by blood, so you have to believe me when I say this little baby is the mostest cutest bestest good mannered-est lovable-est baby in the world. It's true. He is. We hugged, we laughed, we hiccuped (okay, just TBFKAS, not me). We realized the world is not such a bad place after all.

Trudging through

Rough week at law school this week.

While I really do appreciate the support, it seems like when people want to help they just tell me things like It will be okay, You only have a few months left, You only have a few weeks left of this semester, You've done it before so you'll do it again. But maybe I won't be able to get through it this time. And even if I get through it, "a few" weeks and months is a lot to me -- especially when they are this miserable. It's a crappy few weeks/months with too much work, not enough sleep, feeling miserable, perpetual anxiety. I just want to go home -- real home, to Cape Cod -- and sleep for a month straight without eating, working out or seeing anyone. Literally, when this is all over, I want to not wake up for a month.

I don't want to feel stressed out all the time. I don't want to feel high strung and jumpy. I want to be spontaneous. I don't want just one "fun" thing of the day, especially when that one "fun" this is going on the training bike at the gym at 5:45 a.m. I want to spend a long time at the grocery store and cook dinner. I don't want "sleeping late" to mean sleeping until 5:30 a.m. I want to be more laid back and easy going. I want to read novels and do the crossword puzzle. I want to listen to This American Life and Radio Lab. I want to go to pick-up frisbee games until dark, or whenever I feel like leaving. I don't want to burst into tears for no reason other than the stress of it all. I want back the confidence in myself that I used to have.

When will it end?

The buzz

Check out this really cool website: http://www.buzzchurn.com/

Someone I know in the PhD program at the grad school made it. It checks all the English language newspapers around the world for "state fragility" -- in real time. How cool is that!?

In other news, I signed up for course next semester. My LAST semester. Unbelievable.

Denver Journal of Int'l Law & Policy (2)
International Business Transactions (3)
Evidence (4)
Community Economic Development (3)
Conflict of Laws (3)

I likely will end up dropping one of those classes (Community Economic Development?), but -- unfortunately -- Evidence is required. Silly Lawyer classes. Int'l Business Transactions will be taught by a guy who does Int'l Development and Law stuff. Should be good!

I also will be a Research Assistant for a professor at the grad school. We're going to work on collecting and coding bilateral trade agreements, looking for clustering between OECD countries.

Vote

Go vote! It's not too late. We need you! Do your civic duty.

Vote.

Happy Halloween

But. But. But.

But my favorite month ends in less than 4 hours. How could it go that quickly!? Couldn't March go that quickly. Couldn't driving through Connecticut go that quickly? Couldn't the rest of law school go that quickly?

I've been working on my paper and other studying all weekend. I went for two walk/jogs. I'm currently at Whole Foods for a quick stop before heading home to study more. It seems depressingly endless.

This will be a difficult next few weeks. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Here's what's coming up:

Nov 2 - 25 page Ethics paper
Nov 6 - First part of the Bar Exam (Professional Ethics)
Nov 9 - Memo for Mining class due
Nov 11 - Trade paper (25? 30 pages?)
Nov 15 - Book review (15 pages)
Nov 16 - 5 page narrative paper
Petroleum Paper & Presentation
Mining Paper & Presentation
Trade Presentation

This is all on top of regular class and reading

Odds and ends

I think this song is pretty great. A perfect warm-up song. Starts slowly, builds, gets you wrapped in, and ends with you feeling pumped up and energized:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tafqnb5fsK8

I bought a new stink! (Stink is what my dad calls perfume.) It's called Eclat D'arpege. I don't know how to explain it, but it smells good.

I saw Woody Allen's movie last night - You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. Not good. I usually really like his movies, so I was surprised. Not funny. Borderline bad acting. Predictable plot. Hard to get what the point was, except maybe that everything sucks, people cheat, lie, steal, and treat don't treat others nicely. I don't recommend it.

Sun & exercise

My survival tips/goals for this semester have been (1) see sunshine and (2) don't give up on exercise. I let this slip all through September and I was starting to feel really not myself. I realized I needed to get more sunshine. Literally, get outside when it's not dark out - for a walk, errands, lunch, anything. I brought my bike to school and started leaving mid-day to ride outside, shower at the gym, and then return to school.

I also realized (admitted to myself?) that if I don't exercise first thing in the morning, it's less likely that I will exercise. Funny how will power works and how long it lasts. But, once I admitted to myself that I should plan to workout in the morning, I've had much better success staying on the exercise band-wagon. So strange that I am perfectly happy to get up early and just head to the gym on autopilot, waking up sometime in the middle of my workout, but that if I leave it to the end of they day, I can't pull myself together. Also, it seems like I am equally tired at 5 p.m. whether I have exercised in the morning or not... so I might as well exercise!

Anyway, if you're looking to get your life back in balance, I recommend sun and exercise.

Happy Friday!

London + back again

Ahhh, London was so wonderful! I had never been there before and just adored it. Yes, yes, I know vacation and visiting with friends and all of this is makes it a different experience from actually living there. But it was a good experience! What didn't we do!?

I arrived Friday, picked up my friend's keys from the restaurant below his flat. After shower and "topping up" the Skype phone I borrowed from Diana, I walked around West London for the afternoon. My friend got off work and we went to a gastropub in Angel for dinner. Delicious food: notably, the "chips" (fries). Walked past a hip bar and decided to go in for a shi-shi drink. The bar was warm refuge, bustling, small, crowded, dark, looked nondescript from the outside. Good fun. Reminded me of a bigger/older Boston.

Saturday we headed to Portabello Market to browse the food, antiques, and people watch. From there, we hoped on the tube to get to Embanquement (spelling?) where we walked along the Thames, crossed bridges, heard a classical music afternoon concert at the Queen Elizabeth Hall, saw the Tate Modern and the Gauguin Exhibit going on right now. What next? We went toward Central London to see the sights, walk through Chinatown, Regents Park, Hyde Park, etc. We stopped when we got hungry as we were passing Iraqi food. YUM. After that we picked up ice cream on the way home.

Sunday we went to Brick Lane. So cool! Hipster market type. Young crowd, awesome stands of independent artists with graphic tees, jewelry, scarves, clothes, trinkets, cards, bags, food, etc. I loved the bustling crowd, diversity of look, style, language. From there we went to afternoon tea and hustled to a fringe theater show that was hilarious. I looooved it. Walked home, past this beautiful, empty street with all the embassies. Watched part of Woody Allen movie and crashed hard.

Monday morning I got to meet Diana's musician friends for breakfast at Le Pain Quotidien. Yay! So nice to meet them and talk about our little Diana. I caught a flight at about 4 p.m. and watched the sunset for about 8 hours as we raced the sun toward the West. I was exceedingly proud of myself for doing homework and not sleeping during the flight. Picked up my car, exhausted, drove back to Denver and got to bed at 11 p.m. Denver time/6 a.m. London time.

I am very lucky to have such good friends all around the world. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend!

Since then, back to the ol' routine. Gym in the morning, work and meetings and class all day. I wrote and handed in a 3,000 word midterm yesterday (due at 7 p.m.). Glad that's over with! On to the next paper, er. um. I mean updating the neglected little bloggie. Sorry bloggie and kind readers!

Also of note, I have now gone running 2 days in a row! YAaaay! The first day I did:

walk 5 min
run 10 min
walk 5 min
run 10 min

Then yesterday I did:

walk 5 min
Run 10 min
walk 5 min
run 10 min
walk 5 min
run 17 min
walk 10 min

And when I say "run," let's be honest, I was barely jogging. But, hey, it's fall. It's beautiful and leaves are falling. I felt great and felt pretty lucky and happy about it all! Who cares about all that law school work waiting for me. :)

Across the pond

Quick jaunt to London for the weekend -- yay! Will report back next week with photos.

Musique

Some songs I've been listening to:

Jason DeRulo - In my Head
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyG1FG3H6rY
I dig the Michael Jackson-esque dancing of this video.

Shakira - Loca
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KewfYKJy8YU
Good dancing music!

Buika - Jodida pero Contenta
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gm9wATAQLk
You'll have to look up what the title means yourself if you want to know (somehow it's okay for me to post swear words in Spanish, but not in English?). Don't know Buika? She's a Spanish Roma singer originally from Equatorial Guinea. Her Latin fusion funk music mixes traditional flamenco, coplas, soul and jazz. Her album Nina de Fuego was nominated for the 2008 Latin Grammy Award for Album of the Year. Basically, she's cool.

Rainy Sunday

Today it's drizzling here, which for Denver, is as rainy as it gets. I've been at the library for 5 hours, but I'm heading home to do work there. Not much else to report, except that I went for a nice walk last night. Denver's so quiet and there are a couple streets with fantastic, beautiful houses.

I listened to this RadioLab show the other day on "Falling." There was one story on it that was so sad! It's about a guy who has face agnosia (an inability to recognize faces) and how he and a girl fell in love, and then out of it. You can find it here. It's the second story, approximately minute 10 to minute 20. The part that really struck me as sad starts at about 19:35 to 21:00. Check it out if you have 10 minutes.

Drs Update

First off, the heel is getting better! I can hardly contain my excitement and have been planning my first run, my ease-back-into-running-plan, and how great it will feel to be back in running shape. Yeee-ay! Apparently, my calf/lower leg muscles were so tight it was straining the muscles in my foot (arch, toes, etc.). I have been doing my stretching and toe strength exercises and the heel pain is going away. That's right: pretty soon I'll be eating bananas and playing the piano with my toes. I also got fitted yesterday for orthotics. Expensive, but I think it's beyond worth it. I should get them in about a week and then I get to go running! :)

Today I got blood drawn. 3 men tried 5 times for an hour. 5 pokes, people! One of them said to me, "You have such tiny little lady veins!" I didn't say anything because, really, what are you supposed to say to that. After a period of awkward silence, he said, "That's a compliment." I mustered up a "thank you," ending the you with an up intonation. Also, I got really cold halfway through this hour-long blood drawing. Like, shivering uncontrollably. Then another guy said, "We'll have to make you go to the gym first next time" because apparently that makes it easier to find veins. I told him that I had come to the hospital directly from the gym! Sheesh. Of all parts of my body that could be thin. Anyway, they were all ashamed, embarrassed and apologetic. I staggered out of there clutching the hot packs they gave me and blasted the heat.

On the plus side, I guess I have low blood pressure.

the month we've been waiting for

October is my favorite month. It's not quite the same out here in Colorado where the highs are still upper 80s or even lower 90s, and the leaves are sort of a pale brown, tan color before they fall off the trees. I miss New England fall. We used to have such beautiful runs for cross country. I'm going to try to make the most of it out here. I went to Vail and western Colorado to see the yellow aspens change colors. I've been going for bike rides outside and walks at night. We're already 4 days in, so I'd better get going on making October great!

Last weekend:

went to symphony (heard Beethoven)
went to a "Progressive Potluck"
took naps
went for 2 bike rides
went for 3 walks

a gripe

I have to gripe. I can't stand it anymore:

There is this one law student (2L?) who is in the library every morning. She pretty, has huge breasts, but is thin and tiny. She's "blonde" - (fake dyed) and her high-arched eyebrows are dramatic. I've never seen her smile.

She struts around - All. The. Time. She sticks out her chest, walks super slowly and visibly shifts her hips horizontally from side to side when she walks. Occasionally, she'll toss her hair. Her lips are always pushed out in a pout. Everything she does is over the top sultry. For some reason, I can't stand it! It just pisses me off that she gives off this 'I'm so incredibly hot' attitude every moment of every day. She could be trying to look sexy while wearing a prison jumpsuit. Or reading administrative law, as the case may be. (See the similarity - jail, reading admin?)

*I'm sorry, I know this is not a nice post, but I had to get it out. Some people just irk you.

9 months later

No, not a baby. I'm finally seeing a podiatrist for my plantar fasciitis/heel spur thing that has been bothering me since January! Sitting in the office now. To be continued...

Shadow

Definitions of shadow on the Web:

• shade within clear boundaries
• apparition: something existing in perception only
• trace: an indication that something has been present
  
• refuge from danger or observation
• a dominating and pervasive presence
• make appear small by comparison
• an inseparable companion
• A shadow is an area where direct light from a light source cannot reach due to obstruction by an object.[the object = ME]

Sometimes when I'm walking, the sun makes my shadow long behind me. Sometimes my shadow walks beside me, standing tall and confident. Sometimes when I bike home through the park, the moonlight reveals a dark friend, biking alongside me through the night.

Sometimes -- sometimes I like my shadow more than I like myself.

Radio

A quick post about radio:

1) Lisa Mullens, the anchor of my favorite radio news shows, is back from sabbatical. Hurrah! I think she was gone 2 years? Basically, since I got to Denver. I love hearing her voice. She's so smart and unintimidating. She gets great interviews and has a good sense of humor. I feel like she is my friend. This isn't to say that Marc Werman didn't do a great job when she was gone - he did!

2) I discovered iTunes has a radio button. If you click on it, you have streaming access to over a thousand radio stations in all different languages from around the world. I love it.

3) I heard an interview with Dolly Parton the other day on Fresh Air with Teri Gross. I was inspired to buy a blue grass album of Dolly Parton's - I think it's actually called The Grass is Blue. I really like it!

Fake fall

Just as there is no spring on Cape Cod, there is no fall here in Denver. The mornings are starting to get a bit chilly (low 50s?), but every afternoon is over 80 degrees. It's too hot, people. Mom said the leaves are changing back home. Here, I am still sweating just running errands around town. I am going out to western Colorado in a couple weeks to hang out there for a weekend, and I hope the leaves will be nice.

The weeks trudge on - is this week 5 of class? - and I am starting to feel that there is more work to be done. I also feel like I'm just biding my time here, waiting out the semester. I think I'm supposed to look forward to graduating, but it doesn't feel that way. Things are looming ahead: where do I take the bar? Passing the bar. Getting a job. Paying off loans. It's all very daunting.

Yesterday I got dim sum at a pretty good place with my friend, Viv. We picked up some groceries, too, from the Asian grocery store. I got a huuuge bag of brown rice (5 lbs?) for $4.50 and some curry paste for $1.99. So cheap. After, she also helped me buy and move a $24.99 used comfy chair from the fancy-shmancy Goodwill on Broadway. It's pretty great and it fits perfectly. I positioned it to look out the window so I can't wait for late fall or winter to have my cup of tea or morning oatmeal and watch the fountain out in the courtyard. She also confirmed that my place smells like gas, mildly. I haven't closed my window since I moved in.

Happy Monday, or something like that.

One day at a time

I'm fighting this sinking feeling that is coming on. Those same feelings of stress and I-don't-belong-here. I had a nice weekend and all, but then Monday comes and I get all stressed out again about life, jobs, loans, money (or lack thereof), the bar exam, papers.

I've made some big changes and cut out commitments, so in theory, I should have more time to eat, sleep, be happier. I'm reading a novel. I go to yoga and the gym. I spent an hour going to the grocery store. I made dinner. I baked scones. I should be happy, no?

Instead, I just feel inadequate for not having an internship. I feel inadequate for "only" doing a full-time schedule of 4 classes, a masters thesis, and being on a law journal. Why do I have to feel guilty about free time or actually getting 8 hours of sleep at night. I feel like my head is spinning with law/professional/career ideas that I don't have anyone to talk to about. I feel pressure to look and apply for jobs. I feel pressure to decide where to take the bar. I am anxious already that I won't pass the bar. This fall semester leads to spring semester, which leads to the bar exam, which leads to starting a job (if I have one) ... rush rush rush, no time to rest or recover from life.

Justice Sotomayor

I'm sitting waiting for Justice Sotomayor to speak here at my law school in 5 minutes. Exciting! She's taking questions from high school students, but they may have been given feeder questions from law students.

Also, I have to say, I love wearing my hair in little buns. Tee hee hee :)

My Chinese fortune cookie today said:

Adversity reveals genius.

I love that. Rise above. Find creative solutions out of difficult situations.

No excuses...

...just results.

I have been a terrible bloggie-er this month. It's tough with the traveling, moving, starting school, homework, trying to work out. Okay. Enough excuses. Without further delay:

My classes seem pretty good so far. I am trying to do extra (as in, "outside," not "additional") work like finding and applying for fellowships, a MA thesis, writing my own recommendation from my summer internship, and writing a case note to be published. I like to do as much work up-front and as early as possible in the semester if I can. I hate the sprint and rush to do everything at the end of the semester. I try to avoid that at all costs. I'm not sure I'm doing a good job, though, because all these extra things keep popping up.

I'm also in the middle of moving. Literally. I moved most of my things, but realized there were substantial/numerous issues with my newly-signed-lease apartment. I didn't want to finish moving my stuff and a natural gas smell made me nervous even to sleep there. So, my things are in my new apartment but my bed and ME (sleeping) are in the old apartment. I have to shower at the gym and eat out because I don't even have a shower curtain or any kitchenware in the kitchen. I can't even read in bed because there is only a light in the kitchen and in the bathroom, not the studio room. I basically get up early and leave for the day. I stay out as late as possible and literally go to bed the second I get home. It's all very unsettling and I wish things would be resolved quickly.

Some good things going on? Um. Um. Um. I'm reading Cradle of Gold written by my dear friend, Chris Heaney. I love the book, love reading the products of his hard work, and I love knowing my friend better.

First week of school

Things have been busy busy busy since I got back to Denver. I've seen friends, gone for bike rides, started up yoga and swimming. I changed my course schedule and I am about to cinch a 9 month least at a great apartment.

The classes:

International Comparative Petroleum Oil Law and Policy
International Mining Law and Policy
Legal Profession: Women in the Law
International Trade

The Apartment:

In an old historic brick mansion, the studio has 12 ft ceilings, a walk in closet, huge windows, wood floor and black/white checker kitchen tile, old fashioned tub, garden courtyard, loft bed with a desk underneath. I love it! If all goes well, I sign the lease Thursday and move in in a week.

The Internship:

No internship yet. I am considering (1) trying to do some higher-level policy work on economic development and international trade policy for the Colorado state government or (2) interning for the legal department of LaraBar. My most favorite-est exercise snack bar that is gluten free and started by women, based locally here in Denver. Can we say, free samples?

Other:

The weather is fabulous. I'm thinking of doing a sprint triathlon. I want a windowsill garden with rosemary, aloe, and basil plants. I have no internet at home and am holding out as long as I can. I'm reading for pleasure.

(air)Port Post

7:58 p.m
Logan Airport
Gate C36

I ended my internship in D.C. I may or may not have cried while walking to work on my last day. I loved my D.C. summer life, my coworkers, my daily routine, the big black woman, Monty, who worked at my gym (the JCC). I loved stopping off at the farmers market on my way home to pick up veggies. I loved going for walks. I loved visiting my grandmother on weekends. I loved hopping on the MARC Penn Line to visit my friend in Baltimore. I loved Baltimore. For once, I had an internship where I got to do the job I would have if I worked there. And, for once, I loved the job I got to do. But, my time came to an end. I scrubbed my apartment, left some wine and a gift card for SweetGreen, packed my bags and headed North.

I saw my eye doctor in Boston before jumping on a bus down to the Cape. Carrying all my stuff from the last 3 month, eyes dilated with the 4:30 p.m. sun setting in my eyes, I staggered grouchy, groggy and blind around the J-Way streets trying to find my way back to South Station. I was a sorry sight, for sure. I made it home -- real home -- and powered off my cell phone, tucked away my computer and swore off communicating with the outside world (not so hard, as Verizon is spotchy at my parents' house). I had a lovely, hectic few days with my family. I read two books. I slept with no alarm. I got new contact lenses and had my teeth cleaned. We got sand in our shoes and ate homemade ice cream. We went sailing. We had fresh fish, smooth as butter, and baked blueberry crisp. We visited my aunt and walked her dog. We had dinner with my 90 year-old grandmother who still swims laps in the ocean. We saw my grandfather's closet, still part full a mere five months after he passed. We went for runs and walks. We saw shooting stars at the bridge down the street.

We got and gave hugs. We laughed. We cried. We changed our life plans. We yelled. We made new life plans. We loved each other. We told one another we loved each other.

We said goodbye.

....

En route back to Denver. I feel rejuvenated and excited. I found myself again this summer. I was inspired. I have ideas. I have motivation and initiative. The anger abated. The confidence came back. I am myself. I am my self.

This will be my year.

winding down

Just about one week left of my internship. I am done with my summer class requirements, so time at home will be a true vacation. That is, if I can manage to leave the stress and anxiety about school-bar-job-Denver on the other side of the Sagamore Bridge.

I saw El Secreto de Sus Ojos, the Argentinean movie that won an Oscar for best foreign film. Very good! I recommend it. Seriously, the second movie I've seen all year. No joke. Two. No time. No money. No attention span. No nada.

I was lucky enough to meet my sister for lunch the other day when she was in town. That was fun!

I went to Baltimore tonight for dinner with some family (my mom's first cousins). Sigh, probably my last time for a long while. I like it there. It's cheesy, but I saw a City Sports and really wanted to stop in to buy a City Sport Baltimore shirt to work out in. They were so sweet and we had a really nice time at dinner. Asian fusion - yummy.

Tomorrow morning (gulp, must get to sleep) I am going to a networking breakfast hosted at the American Society for International Law. It's for women who are interested in international law. I wanted to go less about the networking, but really just to meet some cool, inspiring women. Should be good.

food, my real love

Friday:

After work I skipped on over to Baltimore for dinner with my friend to grab dinner after checking out her work's impressive farmer's market and farm, Real Food Farm. They try to bring healthy food options to Baltimore, where there are basically no grocery stores, and cheap food options are essentially limited to fast food and your pick of fried-Chinese-Pizza-Liquor "carry out."

Oh my goodness. I seriously cannot remember the last time I ate such a fine meal! We went to Brewer's Art. I ate the Peppadew Pepper Polenta. It was: Miss Cathy's Mozzarella (cheese made-in-house), Local Farm Ratatouille (fresh zukes, squashes and greens), Cherry Tomato Coulis, Parmesan Cream, sprinkled with some endive lettuce and fresh baguette on the side. To drink I got the made-in-house, Brewer's Art "Wit Trash" Belgian Ale. It was light wheat beer with hints of coriander and lemon peel. Really, on the train ride home I tried my hardest to remember my last comparable meal and couldn't think of one!

All this fine dining made me search around for new places to try back in Denver. I came up with two. Both are pricey, but I truly would rather give up all crappy $10 sandwiches and $2 coffees that I could make myself to save up for a delicious, real meal. One is Fruition and the other is Root Down. I have been by Fruition a million times, but the Root Down place looks amazing and I can't believe I've never heard of it before. Here's what their website says:

We want the food at Root Down to be sensational—that is, igniting all the senses to create a full dining experience. Following a “field to fork” mentality, we prefer to stay as organic, natural and local as possible. Root Down serves “globally influenced seasonal cuisine,” which basically means we go where inspiration leads us. We’re not tied to one style or genre—we’re hoping to create one of our own.

----
Saturday:
101 degrees and 71% humidity today

I went to visit Grandma and was dripping wet for hours. I'm pretty sure I smelled, too. Fortunately for all involved, one can't smell oneself and Grandmas can't smell anything.

When I got home, I immediately stripped to my underwear and have not been able to force myself either to put more clothes on or to leave the A.C. I set it at about 79 or 80, which feels heavenly, these days.

An aside: I am feeling guilty for not carrying around my camera and posting snazzy photos for my bloggie. I know everyone loves looking at photos. The guilt is manifesting itself in this post with lots of links to other sites. You know, to make up for the lack of photos on my website, you can see photos on other people's websites. Pretty ingenious of me, no?

Library of Congress

Nerd Alert:

Yesterday I went to the Library of Congress for a tour organized by work. We also got the special tour, the tour of the law library of congress. It was so cool! We saw a whole bunch of rare books from the law library including one of Ben Franklin's printings of the Constitution. A copy of the Constitution in Dutch. A copy of the Constitution in Cherokee. The language of Cherokee Indians was actually made up and written specifically for being able to write the Constitution. The sounds have no relation to the written words. The words stand for syllables. And, the words are a mix of Cyrillic and Germanic written forms. The rare collections part of the law library also has a whole section of international texts on rule of law. How cool! I am going to make an appointment to go back and see it. I touched books from the 1400s, 1500s, 1600s. Oooo. Aaaah.

From there, we went to the regular Library of Congress tour. Pretty cool, too (almost as cool as the law library). The building itself is beautiful with stained glass, sculpture and meaningful art. The statue figurines are all studying various things. One of the ceilings had the three most prized professions written in various stones -- Medicine, Theology, and - you guessed it -- law. I thought that was pretty cool. Body, Mind, and how those two (body + mind = person) relate to others. We also saw the first map that ever had the label 'America' on our big ol' mass of land. Apparently, the 'brary bought it for $10 million. That's right. 12 pieces of paper for $10 million. They also have Thomas Jefferson's personal library collection. Actually, it's most of the collection but not all because some of it got burned back during the civil revolution. He had a huge philosophy and law section. Hurrah!

The guide said there were over a hundred names of famous academics, intellectuals, important people, etc. written in the walls/ceilings, but that only 1 of them was a woman. What made me ever angrier was that the tour guide (an old man) didn't even bother to tell us the woman's name or what she did! The irony! Telling us how in the olden days people didn't respect women as intellectuals or leaders, but then not telling us about the rare one that they did revere! I was going to ask, but another girl on our tour interrupted him and asked first.

I wish I could spend many, many days in there.

I like books. Books are my friends. :)

Speaking of, right now I'm reading Armageddon by Leon Uris. He's one of my favorite authors. I just love his stories, I love learning (his books are mainly creative non-fiction/historical fiction). I love that he writes about Jews. I love that his books are epic. What are you reading, besides my bloggie ;) ?

Things to gnaw on

A few thoughts I've had and been meaning to post lately.

1. Why do I automatically think taller people are older than I am?

2. As D.C. actually has tall buildings, I ride elevators more than I do in Denver. Call me old fashioned, but I just think it's the nicest thing when gentlemen let me on and off the elevator first. I know, not so rah-rah feminist of me, but, plain and simple, it makes me feel like a lady.

3. Israeli Couscous is so yummy. Great texture. Quick to cook. Good hot or cold. I love it.

4. I really do hate summer. I try to like it every year, but I just don't. I hate being hot. I hate humidity. I hate when my clothes feel tight and stick to me. I sweat a lot. I don't feel like going outside. I don't feel like moving (let alone working out). I just don't like summer. The only thing summer has going for it is long days of sunlight. Fortunately for me, fall is my favorite season, with winter a close second, and that's what's coming up next!

Thought I'd share

I was walking down the street today and saw a white gay couple holding hands with a little black girl. When I walked by them she was bopping along full of energy, saying excitedly, "Poppa, poppa..."

How cool that two white men can raise and love a little black girl as the center of their universe, defining their own meaning of family.

Who wouldn't want to let that little girl be loved?

On a related note, for those who don't keep tabs on Latin American news as I do, Argentina became the first Latin American country to legalize gay marriage. Congratulations!

My Sunday of nothing

The weather has really been slowing me down lately. It has been humid, hot and sunny. The sky is always hazy with humidity. I feel like the world around me is fine, while I disgustingly sweat away. I get cranky. I get tired. I get sleepy. I'm starting to feel like summer days are dragging on...

I had dinner tonight at a friend of a friend's just down the street. I didn't realize it would be a formal, long, sit-down meal at the outdoor table in a back alley way with ivy crawling up the brick wall I was truly given a treat (albeit, unexpected and with no paper-writing :( ). The deliciousness:

5 different cheeses with baguette for apps
potato salad
tabbouleh
salad (avocado, sugar peas, tomato, baby spinach) + dressing
marinated swordfish steak cooked on the grill
green and white asparagus cooked on the grill
wasabi mashed potatoes
homemade strawberry pie and vanilla hagen daz's ice cream
sparkling water, red wine, white wine

Oh my goodness, I am stuffed! I thought it was a big, casual BBQ where I would show up late and leave early...wow.

My Saturday of nothing

Okay, the bread recipe was just okay. I mean, it tasted good and all, but it wasn't what I expected. A little dry. Not too much texture. I'm going to try a few things differently next time (probably when I'm back in Denver because now I have so much bread to eat!). Changes include:

Dates instead of raisins.
Whole wheat flour and 7-grain mix instead of white flour.

...

Just got back into D.C. from Baltimore. Baltimore is cool! Why didn't anyone ever tell me that before? It's weird to think how my grandparents grew up there, my mom grew up there for awhile and went to college there. Even with such a strong family connection, I've only been there twice in my life, and both times were this summer.

There's something real about Baltimore. Everyone's got their own style thing going on. People wear what they want to wear, not the style that's shown in the window. I talked for an hour with a Baltimore native on the train from D.C. after I commented on his beautiful flowers. He was bringing them to his fiance. He was a huge black guy, probably about my age, who worked as a policeman and was beyond excited to tell me about how he had proposed to his girlfriend of four years last weekend. I was touched by how much it seemed like he loved her.

In Baltimore, people set up tables and with handmade signs on the steps outside their homes to make a quick buck: "Mini Chicken Box $1.99" or "Ice cold water $2." There are flashing blue lights to indicate bad drug corners and broken bottles on the sidewalks. There are stunning old buildings that have been renovated. There are stunning old buildings that have been left to their demise. I saw a bumper sticker in the window that said, "B-more against war." I loved that. It's a pun-y, bold statement and shows people care. There are farmers markets abound. Some streets sparkle from the broken blue and green glass that has been melted into the pavement and smoothed down over the years. Baltimore's gritty and lots of work needs to be done. But people seem to love the city even more for it. I'm pretty impressed.

I was visiting a friend who, incidentally, was house sitting a beautiful house with a pool and ridiculous kitchen. We hit up Artscape. Artscape is America's largest free arts festival. Lots of crafts, graphic tee-shirts, art, music, bad-for-you-but-tastes-good food. It was really nice vibe there (buena onda, como se dice) but so, so very hot. I bought a pretty mug. It's big, has a nice handle, lots of blues and greens in the glaze and a nice non-smooth texture to the touch. It looks just like the one in the middle of the first picture on the artists' website. I've been looking for a new perfect-coffee-mug for months now, so I hope this one lives up to the potential I saw in it.

I'm pooped. It's not dark yet and it's only 8:00 p.m., but I'm in bed. I plan to do some work on my paper and then crash. Hard.

Cardamom Raisin Bread

I used to buy this Honey Date Walnut bread at Whole Foods in Denver that was just delicious. Really, it was the reason I got out of bed in the morning all winter long. But, apparently it was just a seasonal bread and they stopped making it. Since then, I've been on the quest for the perfect bread for my morning toast --

WANTED: Bread. A little sweet, but not too sweet. A little spice, but not enough that you can tell what's in there. Lots of texture and grains. Must go well with butter, honey, nut butters, and jam. Inquire within.

I've given up trying to find a loaf like this, especially for cheap, and now I've moved on to finding recipes to bake my own bread. Or, perhaps better said, I've taken to manipulating recipes I've found. My newest stab at the perfect morning bread. It's baking now. Review will be posted soon.

Cardamom Raisin Bread

1 Tablespoon dry activated yeast

1/4 cup warm water

1/2 cup + 1/2 teaspoon sugar

1 cup skim milk

2 eggs, beaten

1/2 t salt

3/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
pinch of ground cloves
smidge of ginger powder

4 1/2 cup flour (or whole wheat flour)

1/4 cup butter

1/2 cup raisins

Mix yeast, warm water, and 1/2 teaspoon sugar until yeast dissolves. Set aside. Heat milk in a saucepan over low heat until small bubbles appear along the edges. Cool slightly. Add beaten eggs, 1/2 cup sugar, salt, cardamom, and 3 cups flour. Beat well. Add butter, beat well. Add yeast mixture. Add remaining flour in three additions. Add raisins. Mix well. Knead on a lightly floured surface until smooth and elastic (~10 min). Place dough in an oiled bowl. Cover and let double (~1 hour). Punch down and let rise again until doubled (~45 min). Divide the dough in half. From each half, roll three ropes 12-18 inches. Braid the ropes into two loaves. Place on a greased baking sheet. Let rise until doubled (~1 hour). Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bake 25 minutes, or until the loaves sound hollow when tapped on the bottom.

Summer wears on

It's 6:00 a.m. I'm heading to the gym in a minute.

The skies are grey, and it would be a perfect day for crawling back into bed and calling in sick. I've got my proposal, my baby, due today. There are phone calls to Peru to make. My iShuffle playlist awaits me, as I slowly wake up on the stationary bike. These are the summer days we would come out of Mr. Tyler's pool shivering and pretty much blue all over with purple lips. Mom would be waiting with arms open to wrap us in a towel. She'd feel so guilty throwing us into swimming lessons when we're that tiny and had so little body fat to keep us warm, we knew she'd make us hot chocolate on return. With marshmallows. We had it pretty good those days. Mid July is when you start to feel that summer, in fact, is not endless. But you rest assured that there are plenty of sunny days left ahead. More ice cream on Fridays at Smugglers or Captain Frosty's. More s'mores over the cooling barbecue coals. More sunsets at the bridge and shooting stars at midnight walks.

Summer wears on.

At this time of morning just a few weeks ago the sun would be up already. At night, it has started to get dark earlier. Hard to believe I've only three weeks left here in D.C. and just about four weeks until I'm back in Denver. I have this feeling that I'm leaving my real life here. The life that I love. The life that I went to Denver to be able to have. It's a nice affirmation that what I'm doing in graduate school will get me where I wanted (and want) to go. I just have to remember I'm not here yet. One more year. If I do land a job and get myself this real life for more than a summer, it'll all seem worthwhile. It's hard to imagine being in Denver, in school, taking exams, studying things like criminal procedure and evidence, for a whole other year. But, for now, I'll get myself to the gym, pump up my music, and move on with my grey summer day.

Summer wears on.

Small World story

So, there I was this morning on my way to my grandmother's for lunch and an afternoon visit. It was actually raining out this morning, a welcome change from the oppressively hot, humid D.C. weather. I made a quick stop off at the Firehook Bakery because I like to bring little cookie and scone treats for Grandma (she needs fattening up!). Of course I was running a little late, as usual, when I ran down the stopped escalator down to red line at Dupont. I get into the train, which is surprisingly packed for a weekend. I figure I'll try to get a seat somewhere in the middle because I'm going all the way to the last stop and won't need to push through to get off mid-way. I excuse myself to get by the crowd. Well! I see one empty seat - lucky me - and beeline toward it. Next to the empty seat is an attractive, my-age-ish guy who is smiling at me and patting the seat. He looks at me and says, "There's a seat for you right here" ... it was my friend, Max! Max is the high school friend of my dearest college friend. They went to high school together in Israel. He was born in Egypt, lived everywhere, does International Development theater work and last was living in Sudan. I last saw him about a month ago at our mutual dear friend's wedding in Philadelphia. Turns out, he was just here in town for the weekend or something and was going to some theater plays his friends were in. How crazy is that! We happened to be in the same city, going in the same direction, on the same train, in the same car at the same time. Small world. He said he lives "nowhere" now, was just working on a farm in PA for awhile and is possibly heading back to Sudan soon.

On one hand, I felt like, See! I have so many friends here in the city that I "run into" people randomly. Of course, it was especially nice to run into Max. I always have a particular soft spot for Max because he is such a good friend of my dear friend. I also partly have a soft spot for Max because he and I seem to have similar careers and lifestyles. But, on the other hand, somehow there was something about running into Max that made me pensive and feel a bit sad. As if, out of the whole city, the only person I know is a chance encounter with a friend of a friend. Both of us just passing each other by. We have just 3 stops together before one of us is off in another direction again. And, neither of us actually has a permanent life here, or really anywhere. It was all so quick. Pretty much like all of the times I've been around Max, there was not (will there ever be?) enough time to get to talk about the real things in life.

Isn't that weird, though? Running into someone I know made me feel independent in a small world, and yet immensely alone in a large world. Who knows, maybe it was just the dreary Saturday morning rain...

Presunto Culpable

Gente,

I saw this great documentary movie yesterday and met the filmmakers. It's about the disaster that is Mexico's criminal justice sector. It's shocking. Please, please visit their website. See the movie. Inform yourself. Tell others. Do what you can.

http://www.presumedguiltythemovie.com/

Two young Mexican attorneys attempt to exonerate a wrongly convicted man by making a documentary. In the process, they expose the contradictions of a judicial system that presumes suspects guilty until proven innocent.

Back at it

Oops, I didn't update for quite awhile. I'm back, though! There's almost too much to say, it's overwhelming. I suppose this is why I left it for so long.

Yesterday I saw a bunch of Orthodox Jews walking by the White house. They were wearing tall black hats, full-length black coats and suits underneath. It was 101 degrees. They weren't walking on the sidewalk, but in the street. I wondered if that was because women were walking on the sidewalk. Then, they were stopped at the crosswalk because cars in the other direction had a green light. One way was clear, so the Jews started walking across the street in a huge pack. But, then a massive truck came rumbling down the street. The Jews hesitated. Some took a step forward, others a step back. Most froze right there in the middle of a four lane street with oncoming traffic. It was like sheep, or a pack of freshmen girls going to a college frat party. Then a car came from the other direction. More confusion. One Jew reached the other side but the rest spread out in a line clear across the street. I thought for sure I was going to witness a Jewish Abby road album cover gone-wrong version.

I can tell the days are getting shorter, although perhaps it's the ridiculous humidity in the morning that diffuses the light differently. I'm not sad that summer is ending because I love fall. I am a tad bit sad to think that my life here in D.C. is ending. I love what I'm doing, have friends here, like having my weekends and evenings (mostly) free. I like being able to hop on a bus up to NYC to visit my brother. I love Trader Joe's and how curly my hair is on the east coast. I love walking to work and catching up with college friends. I like visiting my grandma every weekend.

(The Cuteness. Grandma, not me.)

I had lunch with my boss today. Just the two of us. He wouldn't let me pay, even though I invited him. The internship business is a whole other post, but I am really enjoying my internship and feel so lucky to be having this opportunity.

I've been reading various magazines at the gym. Harper's. The Atlantic. The New Yorker. I really like Harper's. What do other people think? Do you read magazines? Post a comment and tell me which ones you read and like!

What's going on

Must sleep, but didn't want to leave the bloggie!

Here are some highlights from the weekend:

• bike 50 miles (round trip) to a u-pick blueberry farm (got 1 quart + whatever I ate while picking).
• saw the awesome Quaker private high school that my friend teaches at
• saw Golem at the Jewish Music Festival
• hung out with Grandma
  
• got some pretty flowers from the farmer's market
• hung out with college friends who made delicious dinner

I've also been listening to this one song by Sabina a lot. I can't find a great recording online, but the version I have is somehow more acoustic, harrowing, desperate and beautiful. It makes me want to learn how to sing. Maybe I'll practice it in the shower. Here's an okay version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPJlBxkWuj4&feature=related

Recap

Wednesday:

Had a good workout at the gym.
Got internet fixed.
Wrapping up a few projects at work.
Made delicious dinner with brown rice, goat cheese, cumin and pinto beans.
Walked to Trader Joe's - hurrah! Love that place. So many tempting treats!

Of note --

I saw someone (long beard, unshowered) shoplifting from Trader Joe's. He was taking one thing at a time and collecting it all in a pile outside near his backpack. After he unloaded whatever it was he took by stuffing into his shirt, he would go back into the store for something else. I decided if I noticed, the Trader Joe's people probably did, too. And, if they didn't notice, I was banking on the fact that he probably needed that food more than Trader Joe's needed it. I felt badly that he had to do that, though.

I was writing in English about a Mexican guy who had his B.A., M.A. and Doctorate in "Ciencias Penales" meaning, legal punishment system like criminal penalties. Unfortunately for me, that doesn't translate so well to say he was an expert in penal sciences. Penal, as in...you get what I'm saying.

I took a long way home walking from work yesterday. I was hoping to get a snack from a Chinese bakery in Chinatown, but I couldn't find any bakeries! Advice?

Just the gym, please

I think one reason I don't like the gym is because people are always watching you and they judge you. It's true. I'm just doing my thing, trying to do my best to get back in shape. I don't need you checking out what resistance or what incline I'm at. The comments I hate the most are about sweating. Like today, I'm leaving the gym and the woman at the desk says, "Woa, woo-wee, good workout huh?" What's that supposed to mean!? Yes. I sweat. I probably smell, too. It's like 80 degrees outside and then I go inside, with no fans, lots of other people working out in a small, windowless place and- gosh darn it - I worked out hard. So, yes, it was a good workout. And I was all sweaty. And smelly. Sheesh. I'll just take the gym, hold the judgment on the side, please.

B'more

Went to Baltimore today to visit a friend who I haven't seen in years. So good to see her, and fun to explore Baltimore a little. We went to lunch at Golden West and ate delicious food. We saw her cute apartment and went to this awesome place called "Book Thing." It's basically like an entire used bookstore, but they are free! It was awesome. I got:

Baudelaire, Les Fleurs du Mal et autres poemes
Uris, Armageddon
L'Engle, The Irrational Season
some book on U.S. policy in Latin America

free, people, FREE.

We unfortunately got a flat tire and had to wait for AAA to help us out. I ended up taking Amtrak back to D.C., which took a wee bit of time and I didn't get back early enough to go to the gym, as planned. Darn it!

I heard this conversation on the train:

Old Man: Are you a student?
Girl: Yes!
Old Man: I'm a teacher.
Girl: Really? Where?
Old Man: Princeton.
Girl: COOL! That's, like, awesome!

Saturday of nothing

Okay, it was not a Saturday of nothing, but I saw someone this morning with a yellow, 80s-ish tee-shirt that said, "My Saturday of Nothing Tee-shirt" and I thought that was a pretty darn good idea. I couldn't have a nothing Saturday today, but I'm definitely doing it next weekend. Who's in!?

What'd I do? I finished my paper! It's probably not, no wait, I know it's not so good. But, at this point I don't really care.

I skyped Charlie who is now in a subsidized apartment in NYC. Coolness! It was really pretty special getting to see him eat his cereal, especially with the occasional freeze screen. Good stuff.

Anyway, then I rushed off to the Metro and took it all the way to the end. From there I caught a bus and got off in random-land suburbia. I walked 1/2 a mile to my grandma's and showed up smiling, sweaty and received with open door before I even walked up the driveway. Seriously, how did she know I was there? We did chores. (She told me what to do and I did it.) We lunched. I cleaned. We chatted. Goodness, sometimes I just get overcome by emotion! She said something to the effect of "I still talk to Grandpa sometimes, I know that sounds crazy!" and then "I have his Redskins jersey sitting out and I like to touch it and remember Grandpa." Ohhhh, so sad. How does one pull it together to get on with life after losing the person who has been your love, your companion, your best friend, your in-it-together-for-life partner for over 60 years?

On the bus back I sat next to this African guy who had the longest legs. Ever. I swear. The length of my hip to my knee was half of the length of his hip to knee.

I got back and tried to take a nap (humidity + motion induced sleepiness) but couldn't sleep mid-day. I don't do naps. Put in some laundry and meandered over to the gym. I took my time, for once. No paper to write. No study or reading to do. No plans. No nothin'. I loved it!

Actually, I haven't seen any friends all week. I've just seen work people at work (all of whom I met just 4 days ago). Kind of weird to think about that. I'm not lonely, just basking in my ME time to do what I want, when I want. I think I'll live in anonymity a little while longer before I jump into the D.C. world, trying to meet people and learn the city. By the way, I did get 2 lovely pieces of mail from Denver friends -- a card and 2 pairs of running shorts. Lucky me! I have such good friends. :)

Finished off the night by making some Brown Rice, Spinach, and Squash Gatin. It'll make for good lunches. Ah, my Saturday of nothing really was pretty darn good.

Thursday Thunderstorm

Walked home from work in the rain today (thankfully I packed my umbrella this morning). I liked it! It seems like it doesn't rain much in Denver because it's either snow or sun. It really felt like summer, though. Thunder, lightening, rain with sun off in the distance. The air was warm and I was still wearing short sleeves. Ahhhh, now if I can just finish this paper and move ON with my life. I'm at 1,064 words. Counting down 'til 2,000 (or however long it takes me to say what I have to say). What do I have to say?

Bummer

Okay. Plantar Fasciitis-heel-spur-pain is still going on. I basically stopped running in February and have not recovered yet. What a bummer! I am feeling very out of sorts. Not my usual body. Clothes aren't fitting right, feeling new weight and oddly winded going up stairs and the like. I kept up a pretty good workout scheme in Colorado with my road bike and the gym, but the last few weeks with travel and no bike have been bad. I think I just need to give up on running and work harder at keeping in shape by bike, walking, and maybe swim? I joined the JCC. I walk a mile to and from work. I am borrowing a road bike in a couple weeks. I really, really, really, just want to get better so I can step out the door and go running. Sad that I have so much work to do to get back in shape. Probably no marathon this year, either.

Give me advice!

Officially an Intern

Wowzers, I am pretty tired after my first day of work! I'm interning at the American Bar Association. They have an international division called Rule of Law Initiative and I am working within their Latin America and Caribbean office. So far it's great! Basically we are consultants for international development that focuses on legal systems and promoting good governance and rule of law. The projects involve developing legal systems and laws, implementing reform to make countries have better governance and stronger rule of law. They just got grants to start multi-year projects in 3 countries: Guatemala, Nicaragua, and Belize. They already do work in Mexico, Ecuador, and Panama. I'm super excited and already have fun assignments to work on. For example, part of my job is to read news from Latin America (in English and Spanish) and keep the group informed about daily going-ons. How cool is that!?

Other cool things about the internship: there is a roof top for eatin' lunch, a park a block away, the White House a block away, it's a 20 min walk from my apartment, I have my own nice cube, computer, printer, phone and desk, there's a fitness center (yet to be seen) and my hours are 9-5:30ish. Hurrah!

I made a little shopping trip because I felt a little under-dressed. I also signed up for the JCC gym which is across the street from my sublet apartment. I'm pretty exhausted and didn't get much done on the paper front. Boo.

photo update

The adorable Rita at the wedding of our Penn friends, Ariel and Sam, in Nashville. Lots of wildflowers, humidity, blue grass music, thunderstorm, and good Southern soul food.

Holding Andi and Uti's new baby, Kai, as he sleeps away. I swear, he couldn't fall asleep unless you were hugging him. I was up for the task.

Andi and Uti's 3 year old, Oni. She's modeling (hence the hand on cheek).

Beautiful bride, Adi, at her wedding in Philadelphia! Fun wedding with Israeli music, dancing, vegan and vegetarian food, and interesting medly of international guests.

My good, old friend Peter and my new friend (his bride), Dara at their wedding in March. She changed out of her white bridal dress into a traditional red Chinese outfit. The ceremony and reception were at the Asian gardens of the Jacksonville Zoo in Florida.